Just a taste!

Just a taste of my book "Recipes for Life"- will be out as soon as I find a publisher! Any offers?

What’s on the Menu?

There are two things that won’t let you down; good food and good friends-in that order.

Which spawn of Satan took the last aspirin? My head feels like it is going to explode; it hurts to blink! Those blasted wine fairies have snuck up on me again and swopped my brain for a throbbing ball of cotton wool! Will I get through the pre school breakfast fiasco without throwing up? Not sure I should drive the girls to school; I might still be over the limit. Before you start tut-tutting and have me labeled as an alcoholic, let me clarify.

Last night was the monthly meet of “The Girls”. We meet at each other’s houses (restaurants refuse to have us anymore!) Each month the number of us meeting fluctuates. Our group is a “pick n’ mix” of characters- some of us have known each other since school; high flyer Sonia; The Mother Theresa of our group, Becky; and of course “the Twins” Helena The Adorable and Helen The Ruthless. Some are new arrivals (desperation leading them to join our merry troop) like Lidia, forever on the search for her Prince Charming. Some we can’t even remember why or when they joined us- I have no idea where Diane appeared from- actually one could ever say Diane “appeared”- Diane” makes an entrance”, red carpet and all. Diane, the one we love to hate. So glad she graced us with her presence and added some glamour and raunchiness to our little coven.

Some have been and gone, moving on to bigger and better things (wonder which yacht and with which celebrity Elise is with now- would love to tell you about her but I would be sued.) There are the regulars; Holly, desperate for children; the forever pregnant Louise and of course MOI! Sometimes, even us regulars are prevented from attending; stuff like children, husbands, ex-husbands, work, and boyfriends- life in general, get in the way. The main point is that we still meet up every month; we keep the tradition alive. Every time we meet we start the evening as mature, respectable women, but by the end of the evening we resemble a gaggle of giggling, tipsy teenagers. Throughout the evening; emotions, problems and dilemmas are argued over, criticized, sympathized with and finally solved (however, the solutions dreamt up by a rabble of blathering drunks can be a tad dubious at times!) In our own peculiar way we put each others worlds to right. Between us we have the answer to everything. Between us, we have experienced almost every aspect of life. Between us we could make the agony aunts redundant!

Fat feet and high heels!

I do not believe it- I have developed fat feet! On Friday I have to go to a Sex in The City Cocktail Party. No , I do not mean I will be mingling with the stars! The event is being held in a bar 5 minutes from my home, with my friend Natalie (a.k.a The Liquid Muse) creating cocktails for us. Anyway- the dress code is "glam and heels". So, this morning I dusted off my sparkly mini dress and rummaged around in the back of the wardrobe for my one and only pair of high heeled shoes (bought for someones wedding). They are divine- tiny little kitten heels, delicate, jewelled little slip ons. I was horrified when I tried to put them on. NO WAY! It was like Shrek trying to squish his podgy trotter into Cinderellas glass slipper!

I was in shock! The rest of me is more or less the same shape and size as 10 years ago ( ever vigilant of what I eat and lots of running) but my feet-like Hobbits feet! What has happened? I put it down to too many years of wearing comfortable shoes to enable me to run , skip, hop and jump with my children. My feet have experienced middle aged spread!

Not sure I will find a remedy for my "plates of meat". I have never heard of a diet aimed at producing slim feet! Wonder if the instructor at the gym has a special work out for Fat Feet? I think I will have to accept my extremeties as they are and think positively ( at least I will have good balance!)

So Friday, I will be wearing my sparkly mini dress, but I am off now to find some sparkly flip flops or tainers to wear with it!

If you have been wearing killer heels all day, you are going to need to kick them off; chill out on the sofa with the following cocktail-ENJOY

Rum Painkiller.


1 part orange juice

1 part sweetened coconut milk

3 parts pineapple juice

2-4 parts (depending on how horrendous the date has been) dark rum

Squeeze of lime juice

Dash (a heavy handed one) of cointreau

Shake all the above together and pour over crushed ice. Make a jug full, you will want more (suffer the consequences tomorrow!)

This can be made non-alcoholic, just remove the pain numbing alcohol!

A woman in decline?

Behind Every Line There’s a Story- a woman in decline.

I am constantly on the look out for that miracle lotion or potion; that cream or mask that will get rid of the lines and crevices that plague my face and body. I have tried hundreds; ones with plant extracts; ones with animal extracts; ones with unpronounceable extracts; ones you apply at night; ones you apply in the morning; ones in tubes; ones in pots; ones in fancy capsules (never sure if I am meant to swallow them, spread them or stick them up my bum?) and ones that come with their own special spatula. All in vain, the lines stay firmly etched in place. My behaviour must be normal, otherwise why would there be such a huge array of these, unfortunately, useless products? All the models that promote these creams in the glossy magazines, look stunning-but I reckon I could too if I was 25 years younger and had my own personal make up artist.

But the other day, something someone said stopped me in my tracks; made me see my lines in a whole new light. There I was whining on, yet again, about my wrinkles and she said “Behind every line there’s a story”

That night I did something I never ever do-I got out of the shower and instead of skidding, swiftly past that spawn of Satan-the mirror- I stopped and had a good look at myself; I even put on the over mirror light to have a better inspection . I usually avoid mirrors and bright light like the plague, but this time I took a good look at all the lines, wrinkles, stretch marks and scars and realized that my body is like a book; my autobiography. Where to start; because despite all those creams, there is still so much choice!

Chapter One. Childhood Scars- cautionary tales. The one on my hand from playing with a penknife I shouldn’t have played with. The chickenpox scar on my neck, where my brother, not satisfied with his own crusts, sneakily picked one of mine off whilst I slept. The half moon shaped one next to my eye; the result of my one and only attempt at fly fishing with my Dad. That one on my forehead from when my brother got over excited playing chase and smashed a vase on my head! Finally from knees, down- all those bumps and scrapes and dents: a wonderful childhood filled with; climbing trees; slipping on rocks at the beach; jumping on, and falling off, beds and general, day dreaming clumsiness.

Chapter Two. Laughter lines-fairy tales. Fun with friends; riding a bike without stabilizers; squinting at the sun whilst sun bathing; first loves; Christmas; Birthdays; roller coasters; seeing the blue line on the pregnancy test stick, getting my first job and so many more. All these wonderful events recorded in the jigsaw puzzle round my eyes.

Chapter Three. Frown lines-tales from the dark side. The small line on the bridge of my nose that appears when I am puzzled or do not understand something (this line appears a lot!) The feint lines on my forehead born from worry- exams, fights with friends, fights with family, a difficult pregnancy and the numerous other obstacles that have been put in my path to try me. The deep furrow in the middle of my brow- an ever present reminder of a marriage that went wrong.

Chapter Four. Baggy eyes and dark circles-bedtime tales. I have eyes like a panda most of the time; a combination of babies stealing all my sleep hours and sleep disturbed by guilt and emotions through separation and divorce. Not much improvement, despite gels and fridge, cold creams, but this is because now life is FUN- the dating game is on again.

Chapter Five. Stretch marks-happy ending tale. How I fought to keep these at bay-cocoa butter, mashed avocado (what a waste of my favourite food!), baby oil, nut oil, cooking oil! How silly- after all the problems I had to conceive and I try to erase the permanent reminder that I have two amazing daughters!

Cracks and crevices; lines and wrinkles. Signs of a woman in decline? No.

10 things I will not do when I am old.

I sat on my terrace yesterday and watched the world go by. I live in a small village, so the world going by was mainly old folk (therefore the world was going by was going rather slowly!) I am always amazed at all the different sizes,shapes and colours of people there are in the world; yesterday I concentrated on "The Elders" of the tribe. Here are 10 things I will not do when I am old:-

1) I will not walk around the streets in my slippers- even if bending down to get my shoes on is hard work.
2) I will not sit on park benches tut tutting at the young people that go by. I will not criticise their clothes, hair, make up etc (gosh, actually I think I do that already-must stop!)
3) I will not live my life round meal times. I will use a watch, rather than breakfast, lunch and dinner, to organise my day.
4) I will not have my hair permed and dyed white or pale blue.
5) I will not wear an apron in public (blimey, it only takes a second to whip one of those off!)
6) I will not walk round muttering to myself (Oh no, yet another thing I already do)
7) I will not take up knitting and sewing- I have never done either of these past times, so why do I have to do it when I am old?
8) I will not use the phrases "when I was young....." or "in my day...."
9) I will let my daughters make their own decisions and mistakes and I will let them fly the nest and I won't criticise and I won't be a pain in the butt burden to them (yeah-right!!!)
10)I will not tell anyone willing to listen about my various ailments.

One thing I will do when I am old is get a really groovy shoping trolley on wheels!

It is Saturday, and I don't like cooking on a Saturday so try this simple to make but delicious salad (will also help you with "Operation Bikini")

Crispy Parama Ham and Mozarella Salad.

Create your usual salad with all the things you like from the following:- salad leaves, tomatoes, avocado, sweetcorn, cucmber, radishes, carrot etc. tear up a large mozarella ball and add it to the salad. Put 6 or 7 thin slices of Parma Ham on a plate and microwave for 2 minutes on full power. Dress your salad with oil, vinegar and freshly ground black pepper (you don't need to add salt as the Parma ham is fairly salty) Place the divinely, crispy Parama ham on top of the salad and ....voila! Enjoy.

I am a Goddess!

I have just realised I control the weather. I had no idea that I had such powers. What do you mean you don't believe me? Ok, doubting Thomas, need proof? Well, here you are:-
I wash my car or windows and it rains.
I have a mountain of laundry to dry and the weather turns damp, without a breath of a breeze.
I buy suntan lotion and the sun disappears.
I just think about digging my shorts out from the back of the wardrobe and the temperatures drop by ten degrees.
I plan a barbecue and a violent storm erupts.
See? If you are planning an event that requires good weather you had better get in touch with me first so that I do none of the above!

Whatever the weather I am having a barbecue tonight- check out the recipe below for a scrummy starter!

Baked Camembert with Calvados and Walnuts.(serves 2)

Ingredients.

1 camembert cheese (discard the paper wrapping, but keep the box)
2-3 tablespoons of clavados
A couple of sprigs of fresh rosemary
50 grams of walnuts (roughly chopped)
A drizzle of olive or walnut oil.

Method

With a fork, prick the top of the cheese all over and place in a dish. Drizzle the calvados all over the top and leave to marinade for at least an hour (overnight is even better). Put the rosemary sprigs in the bottom of the cheese box and place the cheese on top. Cover the top of the cheese with the walnuts and a drizzle of oil. Put the top back on the box and cover it all with foil. Now you can put the whole package on the BBQ grill or in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 180 degrees C. Place the box on a serving plate and cut a cross in the top of the cheese, to allow you to get to the divinely runny cheese interior.
I like to serve this with boiled baby potatoes, raw vegetables or crusty bread toasted and rubbed over with a garlic clove. Divine!

As I am planning a BBQ-don't forget to take your umbrella out with you tonight!

I am back!

Watch out! I am back! Finished my manuscript- and  as you can see from my photo, I am soooo happy to have time to blogg again! How are you all? Watch this space!!!! Kisses from Kate