Thursday, December 3, 2009


What’s Your Label?

Gucci, Dolce and Gabana, Prada? No I am not actually referring to this kind of label (infact, I have just realized I do not have a single designer label item in my wardrobe!)
The kind of labels I am talking about are Personality Labels.

Are you: - A Depressive, An Obsessive, An Alcoholic or Ex- Alcoholic, A Wife or An Ex Wife, A Single Mum, Neurotic?
Do you, or have you, suffered from: - Anorexia, Bulimia, Panic attacks,
Does your child have: - ADHD, Conduct Disorder or Oppositional-Defiant Disorder?

Yesterday a friend of mine, whose child has always had problems learning at school and is famous for being clumsy, phoned me and said she was delighted to find out that her child suffers from some illness affecting eye/brain coordination. On one hand it is sad that she was so happy that her child had an illness (we normally do not wish for a sick child) but on the other hand I completely understand why she was so happy. Whether there is a cure for this problem, or not, my friend can now understand why her child behaves in this manner. That child now has a label- The Child with The Eye to Brain Coordination Problem. This label will explain and excuse her behaviour and therefore make her more acceptable to society.

How many times have you been told (normally in a hushed voice) “That is the one who suffers from depression” or “He is an alcoholic” or “She is ****’s ex wife” or “don’t worry he always does that-he has ADHD” or “she had a tough childhood”? Haven’t you found that once you know that persons “label” you see that person in a different light? You find their bizarre behaviour more acceptable? I know I am much happier about someone’s odd behaviour if I know the reason behind it; if I know their “label.”

I was over the moon to be diagnosed with Obsessive/ Compulsive disorder! Now I understood my somewhat strange behaviour. So what if I was annoyingly organized? So what if I had panic attacks if my routine was disrupted? So what if I made ridiculously stupid and rash decisions? None of this mattered anymore; I could use my “label” to justify all this to myself, and others.

Many times I have used my label as a crutch or an excuse. For me this label is not a problem, but sadly for others being “labeled” has adverse effects- they can never escape from it. They may have moved on in life, but we, the ever critical public, will never let them forget their past. To us they will always be “The Alcoholic”, “The Adulterer”, “The Mistress”, “The Drug Addict” etc.

My Labels:-

The Obsessive/Compulsive (my personal favourite)
The Foreigner
The One With All The Cats
The One With The Strange Hairdo
****’s Ex Wife

And there are probably more I haven’t heard (the ones whispered or communicated from one person to another by the raising of eyebrows or “knowing” looks) Not a bad list really. What do you think your labels are?

Ok- that is my lot for this week. Busy weekend ahead I have already bought and wrapped all my Christmas presents, but it is only 21 days to Christmas, so I had better start laying the table for Christmas Dinner ( hey, so what-I am Obsessive about being organized!)

Time for me to give up my coveted award. I have realised that I am still computer stupid and that despite help from UberGrumpy I have changed the picture of award (although this is rather pretty ,isn't it!) and probably made it impossible for the reciever to get it/pick it up-whatever computer clever people do.

My award today goes to ..................................................................................................... Don't you hate it when on awards shows,quiz shows etc. they do this, drag things out, make you wait, dramatic music, silent crowd - oops, get to the point Kate!

My award today goes to:-

The writer of this blog is a friend of mine. She used to live in Spain but now is a zillion miles away and I really miss her. I always knew she was funny,quick and clever but I never realised she had such a talent for writing. Usual scenario-when you have children you are known only by your ability to juggle motherhood and being a wife (most people in this village know me as The Twins' Mother , *****'s Ex Wife or The Odd English One Who Goes Jogging-my real name is of no importance)

So Karen- congratulations on reclaiming your name!

Oh yes.......part of this award is that you only have it for a week and then you must hand it on AND (take note Karen) you must tell the Blogging World 7 truths about yourself. Here are my Magnificent 7:-

1. I am 5 ft 2 and a 1/2 " in height (the 1/2 is very important)

2. I secretly sing to Kylie Minogue's old hits when I am alone ("I should be so lucky", and "Better the Devil You Know" are my favourites)

3. I would love to have my bikini line done Brazilian style but I am scared of the pain.

4. I raid the fridge every night.

5. I still suck my thumb when I am tired (so what, I am only 41!)

6. I hate puttting my head under water because the water goes up my nose.

7. I hardly ever practise what I preach! I often tell my girls- "Do as I say,not as I do"

Now you will probably remember me as-the chubby one with the nose clip and the hairy bikini line,who sucks her thumb whilst singing know the hypocrit midget!

Yes Sir, No Sir, F*** You Sir!

I once got detention at school for peeling an orange in Religious Education class. I had finished the set work and the teacher said I could do whatever I wanted. I was a bit peckish,so I decided to eat my break time orange. How was I meant to know Mrs Hill meant I could do anything I wanted, as long as it was educational! I was mortified that I had a detention. I was terrified at having to tell my parents. I was 9 years old and this for me was like having a police record! When I was 12 the deputy head teacher stopped me in the corridor and told me off for wearing a necklace to school- I nearly wet myself with fear. At 16 Mrs Cox, my history teacher, caught me passing a note to a fellow classmate- the note said “Mrs Cox has fingers like sausages.” That stupid note almost cost me my university place- Mrs Cox failed every single one of my A Level essays and predicted me an F in the actual exam (I got an A in the end-ya,boo,sucks Mrs Sausage Fingers).

Getting slowly to the point- when I was at school the majority of us had huge respect and fear of teachers. There have always been “The Rebels”, but the majority of us did our homework, studied for exams, followed school rules, sat when told to sit, stood when told to stand and NEVER, NEVER answered a teacher back! If the teacher had asked me to run round the school play ground, naked, singing Morning Has Broken (my favourite school assembly song) I would presume she had good reason for making me do this and I would jolly well do it!

I am shocked by the behavior of children in schools today. I am out of mainstream teaching now (just select, well behaved groups in my home) but my daughters keep me up to date on what is going on. Children have zero respect for teachers-they swear at teachers, throw objects round the classroom, never do homework, talk amongst each other all through class and more. As for fear….what have they got to fear? The teachers are powerless. Teachers can not give detention, extra work is not done, children are happy to be sent out the classroom or excluded from school. They say what they want to say, do what they want to do and wear what they want to wear (generally as little as possible!) and the teachers can do zilch about it.

Schools are no longer a place of enlightenment and learning and teachers no longer respected. Now schools are holding cells- the inmates just passing time until they are set free to wreak havoc on society and the teachers are prison wardens just trying to survive each day.

The Three R’s are now- Rebel, Riot and Rampage. Sad.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Men are from Mars and Women are from Planet Stupid

Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Planet Silly!

This weekend I was let down really badly by a Martian. I won’t bore you with the details but it did get me thinking. How can men be so stupid, ignorant, selfish, egotistical, self absorbed etc? Now, before all you men start rolling your eyes and thinking “oh no, not another feminist rant” and before all you women start thinking “Go Girl!!!” I have a new idea on the answer to this question. Please remember it is just an idea- so no hate mail please!

Why are men this way? Because we (women) let them be this way! Seriously think about it…… We take on so many roles when we become someone’s live in partner:-girlfriend, cook, cleaner, sex goddess (no, Mum and Dad obviously not me!!!) psychologist, doctor, secretary etc. But they don’t actually ask us to take on these roles. We don’t have to sign a contract saying we will fulfill these roles and we don’t have to provide a C.V to show we can fill these roles. So why do we do it?

Are we scared if we aren’t exactly what they want, they will cheat on us or leave us? Do we get so caught up in pretending to be all these so we “catch” the guy, that it becomes too late to stop the lie? Are we doing what our Mothers did? Or are we just plain silly? I don’t have the answer to this-I just know I am guilty of it!

Finally- if we know how men are; that they are so different from us (so many books on this subject), why are we sooooo surprised when things go wrong or, like me this weekend, do we feel so let down by them? When will we learn by our mistakes? When will we accept the differences? When will we be ourselves and not what they want us to be?


Hey- Who do you think I am- your cook!!! Just joking!
Tonight I prepared lasagna for My Girls. I always have a load of bolognaise sauce in the freezer and tonight I decided I would do lasagna instead of the usual spaghetti bolognaise. I used all the short cuts (is my middle name Deliah?) and they loved it-infact so much there is none left for me!


For the Sauce (My dad’s recipe!)

Fry 2 chopped onions and 3 cloves of garlic (chopped). Add I kg of mince and cook until mince all browned (my dad uses umpteen pans for this-I use one!) Add 2 tins of chopped tomatoes and a HUGE squeeze of tomato puree. Add salt, pepper, 2 bay leaves and any mixed herbs you have in the cupboard, a glug of red wine and THE SECRET INGREDIENTS………..4 grated carrots (honestly, makes a huge difference!) Simmer for as long as possible, on the lowest heat possible.

Once cooked- you will have enough for 1 lasagne and some for freezer.

Building the Lasagne.

Use precooked sheets of lasagna and prepared béchamel sauce (or prepare your own and spend hours cleaning the pan)

In a baking tin:- a thin layer of bolognaise sauce, a single layer of pasta, a layer of béchamel. Repeat this and then on top of the last layer (should be béchamel if you got the order right!!!) sprinkle some grated cheese. Pop in oven (preheated to 180 degrees C) for 45 minutes.

So good that there is none left for me and I am on cheese savoury sandwiches again (good job I keep a tub of this in my fridge)