Sunday, November 15, 2009

A Mothers Ten Commandments.


Inspired by a fellow blogger-UberGrumpy.


1. Thou shalt not curse,swear or beg for pain relieving drugs during labour.


2. Thou shalt breast feed your child for as long as possible and not be so vain as to be concerned about the state of your breasts after. Thou shalt not take the easy option of formula milk.


3. Thou shalt not feed your child ANY food containing artificial colours, preservatives or processed fats and sugars-EVER. Thou shalt deny your child chocolate, fizzy drinks, tasty salted snacks and anything else yummy.


4. Thou shalt make all your own baby purees from organic fruit,vegetables and meats and thou shalt not be frustarted or angry when baby refuses to eat the puree.


5. Thou shalt not put your child infront of that machine of Satan-The T.V ,to distract them whilst you have 5 minutes peace.


6. Thou shalt not use the word NO to your child. Thou shalt seek other ways to let them know their behaviour/ requests are not suitable. (Have you ever tried this? Soooo difficult!)


7. Thou shalt let your child express him/her self freely- even if this includes drawing on the walls with your favourite lipstick.


8. Thou shalt always have the patience of a saint with your child and thou shalt not get cross or raise your voice- even if afore mentioned child is behaving like one of Lucifers helpers and your partner is being as much use as a chocolate teapot.


9. Thou shalt always agree with your partner infront of your child (what you do or say once chlild is asleep is up to you!), thus showing your child a stable,united family. Thou shalt not think wicked thoughts whilst putting on this show.


10 Thou shalt not have a nervous breakdown attempting the above commandments.



2 comments:

  1. Wow! These are much better than mine

    I assume no. 1 refers to childbirth, and not the current government?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm- could work for both! Glad you liked my entry today- like I said, you inspired me!

    ReplyDelete