Monday, November 9, 2009

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She was just like almost every other little girl. She had lots of imagination, lots of energy, a positive outlook on life and lots of dreams. When she was young she wanted to be a nursery school teacher or a nurse and everyone would love her; love her for her kind nature, contagious happiness and beauty (in her dreams she had blond, curly hair and sparkling blue eyes) She would live in an idyllic cottage with roses running round the door. She would have two perfect, blond haired, blue eyed children (a boy and a girl, of course). They would adore her; as would her handsome husband, the Doctor (even at that tender age she did not believe she would
marry a Prince!). Every morning she would kiss her handsome, doctor, husband goodbye; see her perfect children on to the school bus (with their nutritionally balanced packed lunches) and return to feed the rabbits, chickens and various other animals that wandered freely, in harmony, in her perfect garden. Finally she herself would leave for work-a smile on her face and humming a merry tune. She fell in love with a dream but reality is a cruel force.

Ok- lets leap forward a few decades! Let’s see what has happened once “real life” kicked in! She still has lots of imagination and uses it daydreaming about how things could have been different; if only……She doesn’t have quite so much energy anymore- bad choice in partner, horrendous pregnancy and birth, bitter divorce and no idea of what to do career wise- have sapped most of that energy. She tries to think positively, but lifes’ little blips and trials have made her sarcastic and skeptical. And her dreams-well they have become a lot more realistic! Oh yes, she did try to get the blonde, curly hair but it turned out orange and frizzy! I am that girl. I fell in love with a dream, but reality came and stomped on it!

Life never turns out as you want/expect. Sometimes, if you are really lucky, it turns out better; but on the whole, our fluffy, pink, candy floss dreams are squashed, trampled and pounded, until they are unrecognizable and we are left with a lump of used, spat out gum. Most of us feel we are the only ones to have bad luck; most of us live in envy of others; we feel bitter, hard done by, suspicious of anything positive. We always seem to be struggling to keep our heads above water; no time, no money, no energy, no help. Most of the time we think-what the hell is the point in trying! Life sucks. Years of fumbling around in a dark room and we still can’t find the blooming light switch!

So, here I am, divorced; on my own for the first time in 17 years; no job; twin teenage girls( who wish their Mum would get a life and stop bugging them) and no idea where I go from here or with whom! I live in hope that my friends will sort my life out -I may as well believe in fairy godmothers and magic wands! Don’t get me wrong I love my friends to bits. We have been together through thick and thin, but all of us are messed up, or have messed up, in one way or another.

However, there is no use crying over spilt milk (now crying over spilt wine is a different kettle of fish!) We have to learn to swallow our mistakes, cut through our problems and prepare ourselves for the next dish thrown at us. Let’s learn how to laugh at reality; let’s learn to stick up two chocolate fingers, and blow a big raspberry rippple, at Life.

These recipes are cheating slightly. These are just something you can throw together in an emergency. When you are feeling down in the dumps, for whatever reason it may be, you don't want to fuss about. You need immediate comfort. We are all different physically, mentally and taste budally- so for those with a sweet tooth:-

Take a bowl and put a BIG scoop of good quality icecream in it( I prefer vanilla but choice is yours). Next grab a handful of those chocolate balls that have "a honeycombed middle that weighs so little" You know the ones I am talking about! Put them in a plastic bag and smash the living daylights out of them. Great way to release that pent up anger or frustration. Sprinkle the pulverised choccies on the icecream and tuck in!

For those who need a chilli kick:-
Empty a tin of chopped tomatoes into a bowl, add 1 crushed clove of garlic, a handful of chopped corriander, a squirt of lemon juice and crumble in 1 or 2 fiery hot chillies (remember to wash your hands after, especially if you are tearful!)Grab a bag of tortilla chips and dip away until you've numbed the pain (or at least your tongue) and your eyes and nose are running- but not from crying!

Feeling better already?

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